Mar 02, 2008
How Safe is This Site?
Posted by: Admin
Posted by: Admin
How safe is this site?
FindSinglesinMinistry.com is a safe place to meet other Christians and there is thousands of Christian who have met their soul mate via website. FindSinglesinMinistry.com has been designed to be secure and safe, so no one will know who you are unless you tell them. You have your own private mailbox on the system, so your e-mail address is kept private. We have Christian chat rooms for single Christians looking for a Christian dating service.
Profile revealing too much?
Please do not choose a username which reveals too much personal information such as your last name. We recommend you choose a username which reflects something you like (e.g. scripture, game, etc) or some part of your personality (e.g. happy, bouncy, loving, etc) or something else which doesn’t reveal to others who you are.
If you do not wish to have your City displayed on your profile you can “Hide” your city from view by going to your Modify my Profile section once you have logged into your account.
Logging in or out of the FSIM
You are ultimately responsible for the security of your FindsinglesinMinistry.com username and password. Please take care when using and storing them. We recommend that you do not divulge your password to anyone. You should close your Internet browser (e.g. AOL, Explorer or Netscape) at the end of each session on the FSIM (click on the ‘X’ at the top right of your webpage) to ensure that others cannot access your personal information and correspondence, especially if you share a computer with someone else or are using a computer in a public place like a library or Internet cafe. Also, unless you are the only one with access to your computer do NOT save your FindSinglesinMinistry.com password if asked. If you would like to change your FindSinglesinMinistry.com password please go to your Modify my Profile section and select the option to choose a new password.
What you can do to better protect yourself on FindsinglesinMInistry.com
Meeting Someone from the FindSinglesinMinistry.com
Please be very careful about how you meet people from the Internet, even if it is through FindSinglesinMinistry.com. Here are some tips which will help you outside FindSinglesinMinistry.com
TAKE YOUR TIME: There is no need to rush into a relationship with the first profile you view on the FSIM. Having a secure, stable relationship should be important to you and the person with whom you are corresponding. Never give out your email address, phone number, chat messenger information, your full name, work information or any other contact information to a complete stranger.
PLEASE NOTE: a lot of information can be gathered about you by unscrupulous people if you call from your home phone (or cell) or if you provide a company email address. When you’re ready to contact the other person outside our service, use a free service such as hotmail or yahoo for email or call from a payphone.
FindSinglesinMInistry.com cannot control the behavior of members outside the FSIM however one of the wonderful things about meeting someone through FindSinglesinMinistry.com is you can gain information without having to leave the safety of the FSIM! Keep your correspondence on FSIM (use your mailbox or chat room) and get to know someone over an extended period (a few weeks) so that you can determine if someone is honest, if their behavior is consistent and whether this person is someone you’d like to get to know even better. If the other person is really serious about starting a healthy relationship with you, she/he will respect your desire for safety and your commitment to developing a healthy relationship.
USE COMMON SENSE: Some members present only their most positive aspects so some of their negative aspects might not be apparent the first few days they correspond with you. Other members provide very little information in their profile or their letters. Be cautious of such contacts: ask a lot of questions to help you get a better perception of the person with whom you’re corresponding. We are not setup to do background checks on members or to ensure the accuracy of profiles. It is your responsibility to take the time to ensure the person you are corresponding with is trustworthy. You want to ensure you don’t rush into a relationship only to find the person you’re meeting is not at all who you thought she/he was. Meet only when you are ready. Tip: It’s amazing what asking someone to wait will show you about his/her character and his/her dedication to a relationship.
MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE: If you decide to meet in person, choose a public place and stay in a public place. If she/he is serious about the relationship, she/he will be glad to ensure you feel safe. Do not accept offers to have him/her pick you up or drop you off. Choose public transportation, your own vehicle, a taxi, or better yet, have a friend arrange the transportation for you. If things do not feel right, LEAVE – better safe than sorry.
Look for “red flags”.
Take your time on the FSIM to ensure the people you are meeting on the FSIM are serious about your safety and a healthy relationship. Some of the potential warning signals include:
· The member offers his/her email address or asks for your email address, ICQ number, phone number or other contact information when you barely know him/her
· The member is elusive in providing answers (within reasonable time) to a lot of your questions
· The behavior of the member seems to fluctuate or change drastically from one day to the next or from the first contact to later contacts
· The member acts harshly, then the next email apologizes profusely; later this member acts harshly towards you again.
· The member wants to meet you at some private location (his house, his “friend’s” place, your place)
· The member needs money for a bus ticket, plane ticket, taxi and wants you to send it to him/her
You can mail block any member by viewing his/her profile and then choosing the “apply mail block” button to the right of his/her photo.
While we want you to be cautious, we also want you to have fun on the site and we would like you to meet people in person if that is what is best for you 🙂
Tip: What kind of precautions would you want your friends to take when meeting someone they met on the Internet?
6:32 AM
Jan 19, 2008
To encourage more Christian singles to write to you
Posted by: Admin
Posted by: Admin
Dating Advice
To encourage more Christian singles to write to you, review the following ideas for creating an appealing dating profile.
1) Be specific when filling out your profile rather than writing general responses which are more difficult to relate to.
Consider the following answer to what kind of person you are:
“I have a good sense of humor; enjoy moonlit walks along the beach and fine dining. I am a Godly person.”
Now consider the following, more appealing response:
“I really enjoy hiking up to a hill near my house, looking out over the city lights and would love to share the view with someone special. I LOVE amusement parks and there are quite a few within hours’ drive from my place. Are you the type of person who likes Rollercoaster? I love the excitement and thrill of it all! I really like the church “family” at my church and we have a lot of great times and get-togethers. Would love to have someone special to share in my passion of getting to know God better and sharing His wonders and promises with. I LOVE talking about advances in science and how they continually point to God’s power. What really gets your blood pumping about God or Nature?”
TIP: Add a question or two in your answers which others might be able to answer for you. This will offer other Christian singles the chance they may be looking for to write you!
2) If you have interests or things you are passionate about, tell others about them!
People who have interests are viewed as interesting people!
If you really like gardening; if you like Big Cats like lions, tigers, hyenas, jaguars, etc; if you really enjoy cooking Thai cuisine or eating Ethiopian food; if you love the Maple Leafs or local Rugby team or going to your son’s Little League games; if you love going to Bible camp and laughing with other Christians and spending time learning more about one another and how we can grow closer to Christ; include this in your profile and tell others why you enjoy it!! Mention what has shaped or changed your life. This will help paint a more accurate picture of you.
If your passion means that much to you, you will want your mate to at least support you and listen to you as you ramble on about it 🙂
Be careful however, not to ramble on too much on one topic. You do not want to appear one-dimensional 🙂 Save the extra information for your correspondence with others.
3) Smile when you are writing
When we smile and write, it shows! It tells others you are happy and well adjusted, and that you would be an excellent person to share one’s life with. Who wants to meet someone who sounds like they just stubbed their toe?? Be aware of how you might appear to others.
If you were someone else reading your dating profile, would you want to correspond with you? Use your profile to display your sense of humor in a tasteful manner. Humor generates interest. Smiling and writing does not apply just to your written answers in your profile, but also in the letters you send out to others 🙂
4) Be honest. Do not set yourself up for disaster.
Everyone wants to meet an honest person. Dishonesty is the number one reason relationships fall apart. It is extremely important that you portray yourself in an honest light prior to meeting someone face to face. If you spend too much time trying to be something you think others will be attracted to, it will eventually come back to haunt you and you will have hurt yourself and possibly others in so doing.
So, if you are an impulsive person, tell others you make quick decisions and sometimes not the best ones 🙂 Add that you seize the moment!
If you have a tendency to stray from God when things are going “well” in your life, include this information in your list of personal goals. This indicates that although you have faults, arrogance is not one of them and that you are aware of where you need help in your life. (Someone special might help to keep you on track!!)
Do not tell others every bad detail about yourself! Be positive in your profile, even about your faults. You want to show you are honest but you also want to show your confidence and your sense of humor in life. We all have our faults and those who dwell on their faults are not fun to be around at the best of times.
In short, dishonesty ruins relationships; honesty, mixed with Joy, builds relationships, which last.
5) Do not sit back and wait.
If you have not already done so create your dating profile. Do not procrastinate 🙂
Once you have that new appealing profile created, the next thing you need to do is write to others! Login to your account, take the initiative and write to other Christian singles! The best way to get mail from others is to send mail yourself.
Christian singles on the site are waiting to receive mail, so overcome your shyness and send off some letters! Your dating profile still has to get some attention from singles you want to meet so get the ball rolling and write to anyone who interests you! As well, visit our Christian Chat rooms, joining other singles in real-time conversation.
TIP: When you write others, be sure to read their profiles so that your letters to them are more personalized. Ask a question or two about them which they can answer for you. This will increase the number of replies you receive 🙂 Also, include a few extra details, which your profile does not mention. This shows you have depth.
Be as active as you can on the FSIM. Login to your account as often as you can and respond to any mail you have received. Those who are online more often, are involved in letter writing, sending Drop a Note, and join in on the Chat room discussions consistently report making more friends in FSIM and even meeting that special someone 🙂
Feb 13, 2007
THE LIST
Posted by: Admin
Posted by: Admin
The List
I had to ask myself after nine years, “Why am I still alone?” It wasn’t as though I was sitting back in my lazy chair, day dreaming like some fanciful young school girl. At the ripe age of 52, being well passed what society considers the prime age for a woman to find a mate. Read articles after articles about how to find a mate. What men look for in a woman, and what women look for in a man, and knowing all I knew about men. Finding myself still alone after all this time I started reflecting on the possible causes. After bolstering my courage enough just to look into a mirror, I came to the conclusion that any man should be proud to have me. Of course to reach this conclusion and to be fair to myself I did have to take into consideration my age, weight, and my house, my car, my job, and all the goodies I owned. Just to be fair of course. Still after analyzing everything I was still alone. Why? I came to the conclusion that I must be doing something wrong. I had made my list of requirements for a mate, and refused to budge for nine years. I would not be denied all I wanted. Lying in bed that cold winter night listening to the wind hollowing outside my bedroom window, sounding like a lost soul itself I thought of my list, and all my wants. Out of the blue a few things came to mind. Should it really be about what a woman wants? Or should it be about what men and women want? Shouldn’t the quest be for both man and woman? Shouldn’t I first look at myself? I had made my list of “wants” and then sat back waiting for that special man to come into my life and fulfill all my need and fantasy. Did I ever really think about what makes a good relationship, or for that matter does anyone? What are the basics needed in making a good and lasting relationship with anyone – man or woman? Have you seen anyone when asked what he or she wants in a relationship answer with what they are willing to give first?
Years ago I had a discussion with my Father about a scripture in the Bible. I have always considered my dad as the one and only true source to any question or problem I might have, knowing he could and would set me right. Our discussion was about a young man the Lord told to sell all he owned and to follow him. The young man went away sad, because he was very rich. He was not willing to give up all he had. In our discussion I took the side of the young man in telling my father that that was the old days and we no longer had to do that. After all I argued if we all gave up everything we owned and followed the Lord what would we have then? Who would do all the work and take care of everything? My Fathers reply was something that I will never forget and have tried to base my life on. He simply said in a lazy soft southern drawl. “I Guess We Would Have Heaven on Earth.”
In studying the bible the main topic is about “LOVE” and showing “LOVE.” Any relationship is about “LOVE”. Not what you want or need, but what both people want and need. It calls for a person to be able to both give love and know how to receive love.
Showing love requires us to take our minds off of ourselves and place it on someone else. It requires us to learn how to forgive others, to be patient, kind, caring, and giving. The lists goes on and on, but look how it is not a list that we consider when we are making our list of wants. Why is that?
It doesn’t matter if one is Christian or Non-Christian love is still the same. Not only do we need to give love, but we also need to be able to receive love. Many people don’t know how to receive love and that makes an unhappy relationship as well. It’s really easy to learn how to receive love. Just simply see ourselves through the eyes of the one’s that give love to us, and learn how to forgive ourselves as they forgive us.
Give to others and we will receive back. Try it and see if it doesn’t work. Hug a friend and they will hug you back, Kiss a lover and they will kiss you back. Reach out and give a helping hand to a stranger and watch as someone gives you a helping hand when you need it. If we give love we receive love. If we give hate we receive hate.
If we ask for their list of needs before we give them our list of needs we will more than likely receive everything we need if not more than we ever dreamed of or hoped for. To truly love we must be willing to give up all we have. To gain all we ever wanted. It’s simple Give and Take. If all we want is our list of what someone else must be or have we are not looking for love we’re looking for things; or more stuff to place with our stuff.
When are we ever going to stop looking at love as a Christmas stocking stuffed with all kinds of goodies? Love is not a thing and is more than just a feeling. It is building a bond; joining two spirits together as one and creating a relationship based on giving of one’s self.
If the young man had given all he owned, what do you think he would have received in return? If we gave all we have in a relationship what do you think we would receive in return? If we get hurt in a relationship will we lose ourselves or will we grow stronger from the lose. Is it better to love and lose or is it better to never have loved?
We guard our properties way too much and because of that so many people never allow their self to love. They are not willing to suffer loses any more than the young man in the Bible was. Is there anything we can learn from the young man? Yes! There is. If we hold even just a little back we miss out on all we could and should have had in our relationships. There are no sureties in this world and I don’t think we will ever find love as we are meant to as long as we place material things before others. It’s not bad to have a list, but is the list a list of things, like fancy luxury cars, a mansion on a hillside, a boat the size of a battleship, enough money to buy Donald Trump’s palace five times over and what about looks? Does the man have to be as tall as a basketball player with eyes the color of the sky, and built like Mr. Universe. Let’s not forget about all the lovely ladies. What’s required of them? Can she work a full time job and still be home in enough time to cook your meal, wash your socks, build a fire, and stay up late enough to put the dog out. Does she really have to be between 5’2”and 5’4” weight no more than a hundred and two pounds with blonde hair and big blue eyes, and built like a brick outhouse? Got the picture yet?
I found the man I had spent so many years searching for, but not until I changed my list around. I no longer looked for all the things, but started looking at the man himself. What I saw was a man with a very special spirit; a giving man, not a taking man, one that will stay by me through life’s endless up’s and downs. He is not the man that was on my list, I thank god for that, because if he were he would not and could not be the loving man is.